All the latest from paradise (?)

The fallout from the Jordan/Anna ‘situation’ reached its logical conclusion last evening, as both were unceremoniously booted out of the villa. Also for the high jump were peripheral duo Chris and Harley, as the most unpopular couples as voted by the viewers departed the scene.

Jordan, he of the latter-stages meltdown, and Anna, a woman scorned (ish), bickered bitterly to the evening’s dying moments.  Methinks they won’t be going for a coffee on the outside anytime soon. Appearing on the undercard as AJ tries to win his belts back from Andy Ruiz is a distinct possibility though.

I’d pay to see that one – and my 50p would definitely be on Anna.

Curtis and Maura survived the cull, along with Tommy/Molly, Anton/Belle, Ovie/India, and Greg/Amber. Jordan’s fall from grace was spectacular, immediate, and frankly unfathomable. He went from contented little bunny to unsettled India-hunting misery in about five minutes; and though I suspect to the outside world Anna isn’t the most popular inmate ever ensconced in the villa, she deserved far more consideration. It was all rather grubby, seedy, and unseemly. Perfect reality television, I guess – a sad reflection on our life and times it MIGHT be argued …

Anyway – on a lighter note, screaming ‘babies’ were introduced into the equation, for each couple to care for throughout the day. Jordan was of course consigned to the role of single parent – Anna was having none of him, or their child – while the others coped as well as they could; some markedly better than others.

Tommy and Molly were all goo-goo gaa-gaaa, silly faces and ‘he’s got your eyes’ etc. It’s a plastic doll, love – get real.

Tommy did at one point flip the little mite in a move Nadia Comaneci would have been proud of pulling off in her heyday, but if repeated in reality would have distanced the tot from two of his limbs on a very permanent and catastrophic basis. Social Services would have been at the door quicker than the ubiqitous Uber Eats delivery man.

Despite this they passed the parenting test, apparently. Heaven help us all. The dumpings were conducted, as is often the case, via a series of text messages read out by various islanders. Show kingpin Caroline Flack occasionally jets in to preside for added gravitas, but surely The Flack will be in situ before this week is much older as the remaining days shorten before the end arrives on Monday.

Will Tommy and Molly, favourites for so many weeks now, romp to the £50k top prize? Many at home think their ‘relationship’ is a tad too twee and sweet to be true. My view is that they are as exciting to behold as a drying can of Dulux on an artexed ceiling.

Back to the departed Chris and Harley – all a bit vanilla, really, but I’ll miss seeing what shapes he can make with that wild mop of his. Can seemingly go from perfectly coiffed and manicured to Ross Poldark in a force ten on Porthcurno beach in the twinkling of a moment. Harley? Harley who? Rings a faint bell. Nah, gone again.

Curtis survived (ish) the fallout from Anna/Jordan and his part in it all as an advice-giver (if you need Curtis’ advice you’re in big, big trouble. Far, far worse if you’re daft enough to take any of it on board). The lad appears to be gloriously deluded, as he truly believes his freely-available and readily dispensed ‘wisdom’ will help his hapless villa-mates. Fantastic stuff. ‘Talk to me, bro. Tell me all about it.’ Words that should strike terror into the hearts of all.

Ovie and India are in to 7/4 to win it, with Tommy/Molly still favs at 4/5. Could be VERY interesting!!

If you’re betting on Love Island, Betfred