New girl chooses heartbreaking hoofer

Last night’s action in the villa culminated in the exit of Marvin, who will be missed about as much as the Australian top order were missed yesterday morning. His highlights reel would be a very short one, and I can almost hear people across the length and breadth of our fair land saying ‘Marvin who?’ already. Bye bye. Missing you.

During the recoupling that consigned Marvin to his lonely fate, Francesca, as the new girl, got first pick of the fellas and so spiked Maura’s chances of snapping up Curtis. The dancer is evidently recovering well from Amygate and its tearful fallout, to the extent that he’s happily playing Maura off against Cesca. Perhaps he’ll add yet another to the mix – I think his ego almost demands it.

He’s just getting a wee bit conceited for me, and said to Maura in a little end-of-show snippet that ‘the door isn’t closed,’ and ‘I still want to get to know you.’ If I was Maura I’d tell him to tango off the nearest short pier. And worse. Far, far worse.

Poor Maura. She ended up saving new boy Chris, who isn’t short of confidence, but is still seeking a meaningful fling after an eternity in the sun. About 4 days. Amber did a similar service for Ovie, and the other solid (ish) couples provided no surprises at all.

There was an entertaining lads’ battle earlier, as our heroes drunk beer and took penalties (sounds like Euro ’96), earning points, or not, along the way. The spot-kick challenge was particularly cute, as goggles worn fatally impaired their ability to see the ball. The majority therefore feebly didn’t make contact. Even made Gareth Southgate look good. Oh yes – there’s a generation who will never forget that dreadful effort 23 years and 16 days ago, not that I ever think about it. Much.

Anton actually trod on the ball and fell flat on his hairy ….

The boys had to do squats too as part of the competition – ok for the gym bunnies, but further complicated by the fact that they had one of the ladies in their lap at the time. Nice work if you can get it.

The over-riding message from last night for me is that Curtis must have some hidden (extremely well-hidden) talents, to have so many young ladies seemingly interested in waltzing along in his wake. It’s going to his head all right, and I can’t help feeling that the fates will have an appropriate and savage comeuppance being readied as we speak. Can’t wait …

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